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Monthly Archives: September 2008

I was reading the Da Vinci Code and one character that i really liked was Silas.  I can only use one word to describe him.  Baddassmotherfucka.  Although he is a social outcast and villainized throughout the novel, I find his character very appealing because he is an albino death dealer.  Strapped with a cilice (spiked belt wrapped around the thigh for the sole purpose of causing discomfort), he roams around slaughtering people to complete his religious missions.

Now it is true that I am a little sick to enjoy a character like this, but i feel like he would make a great comic book character.  Although after seeing Paul Bettany play Silas in the movie i must say i was a little disappointed.

This hardly seems like a badass at all.  He is way too scrawny.  In my head, I pictured someone that looks like this:

(yes this is cable)

Ahhhh…much better, straight up badass.  This is a guy i could see myself shitting a brick in my pants over if i ever had to confront.  Needless to say, arms that are 8 times bigger than your head usually does the trick.

I feel that having the condition of albinism is not so terrible.  Other than avoiding the sun at all costs, you can live a normal life.  I say it’s the closest thing to being a vampire, and who wouldn’t want to be a vampire.  According to the movie Underworld and Underworld Evolution, it is way better than being a werewolf or lycan.  If you have seen those movies you know what I’m talking about.  The werewolves live in the sewers while the vampires have this sweet mansion where they have sweet vampire parties where they drink blood till they pass out.  NOT to mention all those hot vampire chicks.  Lycan parties can be described as just the opposite.  They are so lame.  A complete and utter sausage fest by definition.  It’s not surprising that they’re always angry and flip out.

Sorry for that tangeant on vampires, I just had to get it off my chest.  Back to albinos.  Sensitive eyes and pale skin are small prices to pay to have cool red eyes.  Also you get to be WHITE!!!  There are a million perks that come along with that package.  See also: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

hilarious

Silas Dota comparison: Abaddon

  • the obvious (skin and hair pigmentation)
  • self-inflicted damage
  • corrupted
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I know that Candace Parker is 6’4 and 175 lbs and probably can shoulder press me over her head, but she is still hot and i would love to father her children.  Who doesn’t want to climb up a woman to make love?  Given that I am a 5’10 skinny asian boy that recently went on his first date, she would probably dominate me in bed.  Well as you know, everybody loves an aggressive girl.  Studies have shown that 50% of the time 100% of guys love aggressive girls.  I feel that girls should exploit this and become as aggressive as possible, thus fulfilling my potential to get laid.  Maybe if girls were more aggressive they would be winning the McDonald’s All-American dunk contest with their “eyes closed.”

hot

When it comes to celebrity girls, I usually understand that I don’t have a chance, BUT with Candace I feel I have a legitimate shot.  After all she is marrying Sheldon “the blow-fish” Williams.

lucky

The contrast makes me want to claw my eyes out.  On another note, I guarantee that other players tell Anthony Parker they want to bang his sister when they are drunk.

Candace Parker Dota comparison: Drow Ranger

  • lethal and hot in a dark and disturbingly weird way
  • has the potential to carry
  • has both agility and range

For those of you who do not understand, Dota is a video game that is similar to basketball.