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I don’t know what it is, but recently I have only been able to woo with girls with um “less-than-perfect” English skills.  The inherent language barrier is only the beginning of my quandaries.  You’re probably thinking, “That’s okay, as long as they’re hot.” While I possessed similar initial views, even my extraordinary level of superficiality and shallowness cannot overcome many cultural issues of the FOB.

I am no good at singing but I don’t mind doing it…drunk.  For some strange reason, FOBs love to karaoke despite their outright shyness and extreme modesty.  I find this very contradictory since I feel conversation with a stranger is far easier than serenading them through the art of song.

Weed.  Among FOB girls, there is an immense stigma attached to smoking marijuana.  Now I’ve been to Asia before (specifically Shanghai and Taiwan) and the people there smoke cigarettes non-stop which is fine and dandy while smoking weed is considered a sin.  I understand that this stigma is influenced largely from the laws and parenting in Asia.  I was led to believe that marijuana was grown in hell and its use is comparable to giving a reach-around to the devil while he unleashes in your face, presenting you with a burning sensation like acid on a rusty knife wound.  (That’s how my parents explained it to me, your experiences may differ).  I soon got over it in college and let me tell you, hell is overrated.

I have yet to meet a FOB girl that doesn’t have an annoying whimper resembling a stray chi hua hua.  I don’t know if they are trying to act cute or what but it just pisses me off.  It also makes me feel weird when we are being intimate.  It’s like getting with a child and I’m just not into that shizz despite my questionable morality.

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Please Please Please stop taking pictures of yourself.  You may be really hot, but it is extremely narcissistic when the first 50 pictures you have on facebook are of yourself by yourself.

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