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I have been called a creeper on many an occasion.  Nothing good can come of being called a creeper, all it brings is death and destruction.  Okay so maybe it’s not all that dramatic but it still puts a solid dent in any reputation.  With that being said, I wrote this to increase awareness of this hazardous notion.

The Creeper.

Other than containing similarities to the stalker, not much is known about the origins of this social/asocial creature.   Characteristics of the creeper include (but are not limited to) lurking in the shadowy background of group photographs, smiling perversely, undesired touching, talking aggressively, and undressing girls with their eyes from afar.

Guys, this is a label you want to avoid at all costs for it will slaughter any chance you may have at finding a potential mate.  If one girl deems you to be “creeper status,” you should immediately burn all bridges.  This news will spread amongst her friends like the bubonic plague in ancient Egypt.

It must be noted, however; that despite having earned creeper status, there is small chance of salvation.  This is totally independent of your merit but relies more on one member of the girl’s social circle speaking out and saying to the extent, “I don’t know, he seems kind of cute…” These magical words are your only saving grace.  Upon you, a different light is revealed, ultimately challenging the initial girl’s perspectives.

“How do I avoid creeper status?”

This transcendental question has long been pondered since the existence of the mommy and daddy dance.  The bottom line is, You can’t. If how you act garners creeper status, it is only because the girl finds you unattractive and your unwarranted advances “creep” her out.


See if you can spot the creeper in this photo.


2 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. By Wanna Fuck? « gambled and lost on 08 Jun 2009 at 11:31 am

    […] I could muster and encroached upon this group of girls.  (Now in retrospect this was a total creeper move but moving […]

  2. By I got served « gambled and lost on 12 Sep 2009 at 7:12 am

    […] just one of life’s great mysteries.  What I will question is, why do you girls complain about creepers when you go to the club?  You know what clubs entail, you know what’s up, why act […]

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