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Made popular by Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, battleshits is a smelly and grueling game where two people face off in opposing stalls in hopes of making their own “brand” stronger than their opponents’ through the sense of smell, sound, or both.  The claiming of victory involves the evacuation of the loser, leaving the winner basking in the ambiance.

harold-and-kumar-go-to-white-castle-8

I, for one, am not a fan.  In this game there is no victory, only despair.

Call me neurotic or paranoid, but for the love of God, please do not come in the bathroom when I have already staked my claim.  It is damn near impossible for me to go two-sies when there is someone else next to me dropping the kids off at the pool.  I realize that it’s a mental issue, but that does not change my inability to pinch a loaf when someone else is within speaking distance.  It might be a subconcious problem where I find that adding my own flavor to the existing aroma that is floating around is not in anyone’s best interest.  Or it may could be because the bathroom is usually so quiet that every “plop” of your endeavor can be heard in great detail.  Grunting or coughing does not help the cause.  In addition, the off chance that both people meet outside the stall will rival the awkwardness level of getting caught with your pants down, rubbing one out in the kitchen.

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