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Time and time again, I have been told that alcohol is a crutch.  Oh Reginald, I disagree.  In fact, nothing can be further from the truth.

Alcohol is like the paint on a pencil sketch; it adds color to the gray canvas of reality.  It is the antidote to the mundane daily grind; this sweet, accessible, liquid euphoria.  Attaining a slice of nirvana has never been so easy.  Gandhi ain’t shit.

Alcohol brings people together.  These days we have never been more alone, sitting by ourselves, on the computer or watching TV.  A world that is progressing to the point where communication has been reduced to cold hard text.  Any venue where alcohol is present, what you get is full frontal homo sapien interaction.

When was the last time you met an uptight drunk? Alcohol is the ultimate awkward situation vaccine.  Once it gets into your bloodstream, you’ll feel as smooth as a velvet baby.  This is not to say that you will automatically be picking up the chicas, but it will equip you with the necessary attitude to do so.

When inebriated, people’s true character floats to the surface.  Like a black hole, it draws people closer, igniting new found friendships while reinforcing old ones.  It transforms family gatherings into family parties.  It turns introverts into the fearless naked people running through the US Open.  Sure it’s a foolish gesture and eyes may burn from such a disturbing display, but the important thing is to remember that it’s all in fun.  Alcohol presents to us a judgment-free environment, enabling us to reveal our true character without fear of consequence or regret.  In short, it is the great human cohesive.

**Disclaimer** There may be some times where too much drinking can lead to friction, but that problem can be easily resolved through an enchanting round of fisticuffs.  Many times, people will just put aside their differences and sing along if and when Journey starts playing over the speakers.

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One Comment

  1. Not even the sober folk can resist the siren song of Journey


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