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Ah nothings screams summer, like a lovely day of work at the office…not.

Back in the day, my summer jobs were much more entertaining.  After my freshman year of college, I worked as a Custodial Technician (a.k.a. janitor) at an all-girls Catholic high school.  Now normally, I would jump at the opportunity to sow my adolescent seed.  Unfortunately for me, it just so happened that during the summer, there was something called summer vacation.  All that remained were me, the main office employees, and the Mexicans.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Mexicans.  But being the only Asian boy in a crew of all Mexicans is a little unsettling.  Luckily, the head janitor, Miguel had a son named Roberto.  We were two years apart, so i thought, “We are around the same age, why not try and make a friend?” The differences were as vast and wide as Jermaine o’ Neal’s forehead.  For one, he told me he was a devout Catholic and abstained from practicing yoga because it was a form of devil worship.  This was around the same time asshole-Andrew came out to play.  As I relentlessly belittled his beliefs by claiming that god hated him because he touches himself at night, I couldn’t help but wonder how much permanent scarring I was inflicting upon this poor impressionable kid.  O wellz.

If you think janitorial work is easy, you are right.  Most of my days consisted of scrubbing lockers, mopping floors, and rearranging school property.  Despite the simplistic nature of the job, this school was gigantic and cleansing every inch was extremely tedious.  I managed to take advantage of its large size by sneaking off and taking quick naps in rooms the head supervisor was least likely to check.

I can’t say that work as a janitor was a particularly rewarding experience, however it had its benefits.  I developed a strong relationship with the Mexicans.  I even managed to pick up a few words in Spanish.  By the end, we were able to communicate by exchanging loving words like puta madre (mother fucker), pendejo (asshole), and maricon (faggot).  Every now and then I’d scream out “chupa mi pinga” (suck my dick) and all the Mexicans, young and old would muster a hearty laugh. “Oh that crazy Asian boy, he’s hilarious,” they’d think.  Growing up, I had never got along with adults so well just by cursing my ass off.  It was a strange culture.  It’s admirable when grown men can still take pleasure in calling each other bitch ass homos.  I can only hope that I grow up with my immaturity intact.

To be continued in part 2.

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3 Comments

  1. your blog never ceases to amuse me!

  2. You’ve definitely managed to romanticize janitorial work – I’ll give you that. I spent my Summers working as a receptionist at a dental office, mouthing off patients who were too dumb to file their own insurance even with explicit instructions. Lamesauce.

    On another note, I bet you enjoyed cleaning the girls’ locker room, haha!

    • Obviously, you dont know about the glamorous lifestyle of janitors. 😛


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