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Tag Archives: drinking

No offense, but post World War II Germany must have been a land of opportunity.  By the time they drafted 16 year olds, the bratwurst-fest that plagued the country existed no more.  Welcome to a new and sexier Germany.  Hallooooo Krankenschwester.  Do thoughts like these make me a bad person? Yes.  Is it callous and insensitive? Yes.  Am i going to come up with a redeeming quality to save myself from looking like a dick? No.  Gutentag.

Drinking from a flask makes you look badass even if it is filled with juicy juice.

People have been preaching that better technology makes life easier for us humans.  I find the opposite to be true.  I believe that technology actually makes life harder.  For instance, many jobs have become obsolete.  What happened to all the milkmen, cracker jack toy stuffers, and the guys that screw on that tiny toothpaste cap?  I’ll tell you what.  Technology happened.  It happened all over their faces.  Additionally technology is keeping people alive longer.  Increases in births and declining mortality rates due to medical advances will eventually lead to overpopulation.  If people keep fucking and nobody is dying, life’s gonna be tough.  Less jobs + higher population = a harder life.

Getting high is cheaper than getting drunk.

I am anti-water pong.  People who substitute water for beer are whats wrong with society.  I cannot respect those that blatantly shit on the integrity of the game.  It is called Beer Pong for a reason.  The first and foremost is because you drink beer, not water.  By filling a designated beer cup with water, you are taking something fundamentally pure and infesting it with all that is evil.  This once sacred game becomes an abomination.  Water pong defies the spirit of being drunk and merry and I just cannot agree with it.

A man of true genius is the man who first coughed to hide his flatulence.

Time and time again, I have been told that alcohol is a crutch.  Oh Reginald, I disagree.  In fact, nothing can be further from the truth. Read More »

Every year only one “holiday” recognizes extreme inebriation as a virtue. The color green (my favorite) is obnoxiously hip-thrusted into your face as people get up as early as 10 am to enjoy a nice helping of Vodka for breakfast.  Sounds like my kind of day.  My past St. Patrick’s Day celebrations have been much too tame as I always end up puking too early or had a test or paper to write the day of or the day before.  Some of my friends have neglected their test(s) and/or essay(s) in tribute to this glorious day.  I, however, did not have the stones to support these types of decisions.

This year will be different.  I am going to go apeshit, no holds bar, unadulterated, and most importantly blackout drunk.  How? you may ask.  Well the answer is simple, wake up with a hearty breakfast of beer and have some delicious beer for dessert.  This formula is foolproof.

This year is gonna be my breakout year, my “coming of drunken age.”  Hopefully there will be some interesting stories that arise from this sloppy affair.  I may even hook up with “the coveted” hot white girl.  o.O

drinkbeer9 +   clover_071 =         7

Dear Liver,

I’m sorry for the ensuing pain.  Please do not fail.

Love,

Andrew